The Sweetest Sin
by clumsiesbabe
Summary: Need, temptation, desire. Burning, longing, lust. Forbidden love. Do you hold strong, or do you break? Do you give in? Do you commit the sweetest sin?
1. Chapter 1

The Sweetest Sin

Chapter One

My eyes darted back to the window, eagerly searching for the cause of the sudden noise. My eyes scanned the driveway, of course, finding nothing. I must have imagined it again, but I could have sworn I had heard his car.

Sighing, I dropped my eyes back down to my papers; I stared at them meaning to do something with them, which somehow never happened. I really should finish the work…but I just couldn't concentrate. Not with him coming so soon. I hadn't seen him in weeks, and the prospect was simply too great.

I began tapping my pencil on the table impatiently, a little harder than necessary. Dropping the pencil, I put both hands, palms down on the table, head down. I whimpered. Disgusted with myself for it, I groaned in exasperation and frustration, pushing up with both hands so that I was standing. My chair pushed back roughly, and I swept it aside.

Maybe I just wouldn't be here when he got here; maybe I would be cool and aloof, off doing something in my very busy life. Maybe I'd pretend that my I had something better to do that sit around waiting for him like a puppy.

I jumped as I heard the sound of the crunching of gravel, for real this time. Maybe I wouldn't.

My heart racing, I tried to calm myself, pretend I didn't hear. I sat down at the table again, pretending to go back to work so at least he'd think I was busy doing something. I knew he would be at the door in a second, and I realized I had no idea what to say to him. What could I say, of course, nothing that I wanted to. I would have to act normal and plaster my mask onto my face yet again and pretend there was nothing lying underneath my smiling surface, bubbling up inside me and yearning to come out.

Then the so anxiously awaited knock at the door came, and I leapt to my feet. I crossed the room, checking my image in the mirror on the wall. I adjusted my shirt, the one I spent so long picking out for him, and fixed my hair. I let out a deep breath, gave my reflection a quick, charming smile for practice, and turned towards the door. I pushed back my hair once more, and pulled back the door.

"Inuyasha!" I grinned throwing my arms open to steal the first hug I'd had from him in a very long while. He embraced me back, although somewhat stiffly. He never had shown much friendly affection for me, let alone romantically. But that was because it would be wrong, I told myself, pushing that thought away as I welcomed him inside.

I was melting in his presence, but keeping my best not to show it as we caught up in the kitchen over a cup of tea. I felt so happy again talking to him, being so close, but pangs of guilt and regret kept forcing their way in at the back of my mind, and I knew as soon as he left I would succumb to them, and return to my self loathing for acting the way I did around him. Like an ignorant fool. After every time I left I'd promise myself next time I wouldn't care, next time I would wear a longer skirt, smile a little less, try a little less to seduce him.

But for now, like every other time, those promises were thrown out the window at the sight of his face and the warmth of his touch, and in the back of my mind I would always wonder if he felt the same way, if he secretly wanted me too, if maybe he could fall as deeply in love with me as I was with him if I unbuttoned one more button on my shirt or wore a little more sexy perfume.

I knew it was stupid, but I couldn't help it. His violet eyes and dark hair that fell right in between left me at a loss for words, transfixed by his gaze. His perfect smile and on those rare occasions when he laughed left me weak in the knees, longing to feel those warm lips on my own. his strong, muscular body that I so badly needed to touch that made my body ache with desire and left me with an internal conflict of which I always knew to which side I would give in.

So, I knew this visit would go as all the others did, and end with the same feeling of self-hatred and dirtiness. But as we chatted I was not prepared for what he would say next.

"Anyway, so my mother misses you so much, and she wants you to come up to our cabin in Vermont for the Holiday." This snapped me back to reality, and out of the trance I had been in as I watched his lips move and his eyes flicker. I stared at him in surprise, as he went on "I know it's risky, but we'd be alone in the mountains, no one would know, and she just hasn't been the same since your mother passed away. You're all she has left of her."

My mother, you see, had been best friends with his mother, but this was greatly frowned upon because his mother was a demon and mine a human. They had, of course, like all other humans and demons, hated each other, until the night my mother saved his mother's life. After that, they were the best of friends, but in secret, naturally, because humans and demons were not supposed to even talk to each other. So they shared everything, and when Inuyasha and I were born, they shared us, too, which was how we had met. And since we had grown up we had become very close, but when Inuyasha's mother moved to a larger town for her job, we of course followed. However, in this town it was bigger, and harder to see each other without risking being seen. So we got to see each other less and less, and after my mother died, we lost touch almost completely. So now, going to spend two whole weeks together was very exciting.

I jumped to my feet and hugged him, mad with glee at the thought of it, and threw my arms around him. "Oh, I would love too, I would absolutely love to!" Inuyasha beamed, looking relieved. "Really?"

"Well, duh, you big dummy! Of course I want to come, I haven't seen her in ages! Ooh it will be so much fun!"

"Excellent, she will be so pleased."

Inuyasha and I talked for a while longer until we both knew it was time for him to go, and though I was sad to have him leave again after so long without him, the thought of spending the holiday together cheered me up.

However, after the door had long since closed behind him and my goofy grin had finally faded, I realized my stupidity and slumped back into my inevitable depression. Seeing him tore me in two, because I wanted him so bad, but knew I couldn't have him. And being with him for two full weeks was going to be an agonizing tease.

Sighing to the empty house, I grabbed a bottle of Vodka from my cupboard for post-visits, poured my self a glass, and sunk into my armchair. I took a much-needed sip, and let the familiar tears slide down my cheeks.


	2. Chapter 2

The Sweetest Sin

Chapter 2

I sat in my car, hands resting, ready, on the wheel, but not moving. I stared ahead, as I had been for the last ten minutes, silently debating with myself. The past week had flown by without my having gained any clarity o the situation, and feeling as torn as ever. And now, the morning I was supposed to drive to meet them, I knew it was to late to back out. Yet something inside kept me from moving. Kept me from putting my foot on the gas or turning the ignition.

I wished so badly for someone to talk to, someone to seek advice from. I regretted now not telling my mother about my feelings towards Inuyasha before she died. She would have known what to do, like she always did. But it was long since that chance had slipped through my fingers like so many other things in my life, and it was no use to brood over now.

But really, what could she have told me that I would of wanted to hear? I knew my thoughts and longings were wrong, something I could never act upon, and I couldn't really even admit them to myself, I was so ashamed. I would never have gotten up the courage to tell her, even if she was still alive now. And if I had she would of thought of me badly, as I did. She would have seen me as a whore, and she would have been disgusted in me. She couldn't however, have been as disgusted with me as I was.

Somehow though, no matter how much I hated myself for it, I knew she wouldn't. She had always loved me, been so kind to me, and I knew nothing I could have told her would make her love me less. But the thought of her brought back beautiful memories I couldn't suppress, and with them the sting of a wound still not healed. I swallowed hard as a single tear rolled down my cheek, and my face contorted to keep the rest in.

With a swipe of my hand I brushed it away, checked my watch, and realized I was already going to be late. I took a deep breath, turned the key, and slowly backed out of my driveway, leaving my security behind.

The drive seemed to fly by, no matter how slow I drove. I couldn't keep the car from getting to the cabin, and all too soon, I was pulling in, finally faced with my fears. I tried to put on a brave face, and opened the car door.

Slowly, I walked to the door and raised my hand to knock. And then, I waited.

A few seconds later the door burst open and Inuyasha's face dissolved my fears at once, taking me back to that place of wonder and warmth that followed him, and let myself mold into his hug once more.

"Hi." I said, somewhat shyly, smiling up at him with wide eyes.

"Hi."


	3. Chapter 3

The Sweetest Sin

Chapter 3

Author's Note: I realize I messed up in the beginning and gave Inuyasha golden hair instead of dark hair, which is what I meant to do, so, sorry!

I stared into his face, as little electric sparks filled my body as they did every time I saw him. He stared back at me, and for a while neither said anything, like we were in a trance. Finally, I shook it off, and cracked a smile.

"Well aren't you going to let me in?"

He smiled back, and I shuddered as he scooped me into a hug. I closed my eyes and breathed in his scent deeply, taking advantage of the seconds of being so close to him. He pulled back all too soon, but he could have held me for a year, and when he let go it would still be too soon. His hands lingered on my waist for a second as we watched each other's faces, and I searched his expression for ay of the feelings that were rushing through me. I could, of course, never tell, and he stepped aside and motioned for me to come in before I could analyze him any longer.

He led me through the mudroom and into a cute little kitchen, where his mother stood which her back to us, mixing a bowl of something good smelling, with flour on her blue apron.

"Kaede!" I called out excitedly, running to her and throwing my arms around her just as she turned, a smile forming on her crinkly lips. She was a small, pleasantly plump woman, with slighting graying brown hair, twisted up in a messy bun with wavy fly aways framing her kind face. Her eyes were a warm, melty looking amber like Inuyasha's, and always alive and twinkling with joy.

"Oh my dear Kagome!" She exclaimed, wrapping her arms around my body and pulling me in close with her tight hug that I had collapsed into so many times before. Whether it be in times of trouble and grief, or in happiness, her arms had always been a safe haven for me, loving and comforting. Inuyasha leaned lightly against the wall, arms crossed, as he watched us interact. I felt his gaze even as I babbled away with Kaede, catching up and simply gushing in our enthusiasm in seeing each other for the first time in so long.

"I'm just making some gingerbread now, but it won't be ready for a while now, so if you kids want to go get some wood and start a fire that'd be nice. " Kaede suggested, and we nodded.

"This way," said Inuyasha, gesturing for me to follow him as he crossed the kitchen and went around the counter to the sliding doors that led to the porch outside. He pulled open one thick glass door and we stepped out onto the wooden porch.

"Woosh, it's chilly," I shivered, drawing my thin cashmere sweater in closer to my small body. He turned to me and took off his big coat, offering it to me with his hand.

"Oh no, it's fine, don't worry about it," I said, smiling but not taking the jacket.

"Take it." He said simply, pushing it closer.

I shook my head, grinning broader, and blushing a little. "No really, I'm fine."

"Take. It." He said a little more firmly, brandishing it in my face again.

"I couldn't then you'd be cold!"

Inuyasha snorted and turned up his nose. "Demons don't get cold so easy like you pathetic humans. Now take the goddamn coat before I smush you."

"Alright," I agreed, taking the coat from his hands and pulling it over my shoulders. The warmth instantly filled my body and sighed contentedly. "Thank you." I said quietly.

"Whatever." He scoffed, and began climbing down the stairs. I watched him for a moment, lifting the thick fabric of his jacket to my nose and inhaling his scent blissfully. Then, I noticed him disappearing into the woods, and called after him "Wait up!" Before taking off behind him.

Thirty minutes later, we were climbing up the stairs again, arms laden with wood (his much more than mine) and setting the logs beside the fireplace in the living room. It was a pretty little room, filled with knick-knacky sort of things, and intricate glowing lamps. Inuyasha knelt beside the fireplace and began loading the logs inside.

In no time, a fire was roaring and Inuyasha sat back on the couch, pulling me down with him to enjoy the blazing and crackling of the fire. I sat opposite him, Indian style, and gazed up at him. I watched as the light of the flames flickered and lit up his face, illuminating his features and glowing on his silvery locks. The reflection of the flame jumped and danced in his eyes. Last time I had seen him he was in his human form, long dark wisps o hair and gleaming violet eyes, but this evening was not full moon and he was in demon form. I sat quietly for a while; just watching him, before he finally looked up at me and furrowed his brow.

"What are you looking at?" He asked scornfully.

"Just you." I smiled, then laughed and picked up a deck of cards from the coffee table next to us. "Let's play go fish." I said childishly, giggling.

He stared at me in a somewhat questioning way for another second, then grumbled and turned fully towards me as I dealt the cards.


	4. Chapter 4

The Sweetest Sin

Chapter Four

That night I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned under my warm lumpy covers, reenacting the events of the day in my mind, thinking about the rest of the vacation, thinking about a million things. His smile flashed across his face over and over in my mind, the image of his gleaming eyes seemed to bore into my soul. Half uncontrollable excitement, and half incredible misery, I just couldn't drift off. Finally, in the early hours of the morning after fidgeting and squirming in her bed all night, sleep finally claimed me, and my body's exhaustion got the better of me, but it was a fitful, dreamless sleep.

I woke uneasily to the sound of her name being called by Kaede from downstairs. I groaned and sat up, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.

"I'll be right there!" I hollered back as I slipped on my robe and my slippers, and tumbled out the bedroom door. I made my way down the stairs and into the kitchen, where a delightful smell was wafting out.

"My gosh dear, you slept till nearly one!" Kaede exclaimed, bustling around the stove. Inuyasha sat placidly at the kitchen table, watching her bemusedly from behind the rim of his coffee mug held up to his lips.

"Oh, I'm sorry Kaede, I just couldn't fall asleep, and just lay awake till about four a.m." I apologized, giving Kaede a good morning hug. I stiffened slightly when I saw Inuyasha, not knowing whether to hug him as well or not, or whether he would even want one. He cocked an eyebrow at me, and set down his mug. I decided to ignore him and the churning in my stomach.

"Think nothing of it, deary," Kaede smiled, "would you like some breakfast?" She asked, shoving a heaping plate of eggs and toast at me. I smiled and took the plate, thanking her Kaede and sitting down to eat.

"Good morning." I said pleasantly, smiling at him, and grasping a large mug of hot cocoa to warm my hands. He looked up at me, and scoffed.

"Yeah, whatever." He mumbled, and leaned back in his chair, stretching his arms and yawning widely. "More like afternoon." He grumbled, his eyes closed as he sighed and rested his hands behind his head, tipping his chair onto its back legs.

I frowned slightly, but went back to eating my breakfast and I stared at my plate in silence. Kaede watched us, a twinkle in her eyes that neither of us saw. She went over to the door, and pulled on her coat, grabbing her purse from the hook on the wall.

"I'm going to the store to get some dinner fixings and rent some movies for tonight. There are all the ingredients on the counter, and the cookbook is there too, why don't you kids make some cookies? I even have some cookie cutters and decorations, if you like, over in the far right cupboard." Inuyasha rolled his eyes and consented under his breath, but I, delighted at the idea, jumped to my feet excitedly, and clapping my hands.

"We'd love too!" I cried, "Ooh and we can make the reindeer and snow angel shaped ones! It'll be fun!" Inuyasha looked at me in distaste and shook his head at me. My smile faltered, but I was determined. As Kaede laughed and left, I dragged him to the counter and began to work.

Twenty minutes later, I stirring a batch of sugar cookies, flour spilled all down my front, but didn't care. Inuyasha was in even worse condition, covered in various baking materials.

"My ear are clogged Kagome." He complained twitching his furry little ears, "I think you got sugar in them!" I laughed smiled at him, still stirring the bowl with a big wooden spoon.

"Oh right. Stop complaining before I bake you, too!" I playfully threatened, brandishing my spoon at him not so menacingly.

"Yeah right Kagome." He sniffed. "Is the cookie dough done yet?" He asked, reaching his finger to the bowl. I slapped it and scolded him indignantly.

"Hey! I'm a scary person, you know. And don't touch that!" Inuyasha choked on the cookie dough in his mouth.

"Ok, Kagome." He laughed.

"Whatever," I rolled my eyes. "Just wait 'till tonight when you wake to see me hovering above your bed with a knife."

"Ok, ok!" He laughed, putting up his hands in mock defeat.

I growled and started putting the cookie dough on the sheet. "Now come help me make reindeers."

After we finished cutting the cookies and they were baking in the oven, Inuyasha and I went upstairs to shower and clean ourselves off. I entered my room and walked through to the bathroom attached, turning the shower handle to let the water heat. I glanced at my reflection in the mirror, taking in my disheveled looking hair. I laughed a little and peeled off my robe and my nightie, and climbed into the shower. The hot water felt fantastic on my skin and I relished the feeling, wondering what it would be like to share it with Inuyasha.


	5. Chapter 5

The Sweetest Sin

Chapter 5

After I finished showering I stepped out and wrapped a fuzzy white towel around my body, and another one around my damp hair. I bent over and roughly toweled my hair somewhat dry, at least so it didn't drip, leaving it with a messy-curly edge to it. I flipped my hair back up, and opened the door to my bedroom. Just as I walked in, my door opened and Inuyasha entered, saw me, ad turned bright red.

"Oh, I, uh, sorry, I didn't realize you, you were…well I didn't realize you would have only now finished, uh, showering, and uh, well the timer for the cookies went off…sorry…" He trailed off, looking at the floor. I stared in shock, and opened my mouth to say it was fine, but before I could he looked back up at me and muttered something before turning to leave. I stared after him, and leaned back on my dresser, laughing slightly to myself in wonder. I could of sworn I saw him look me up and down though…maybe he had been wondering the same thing when he showered….

I shook my head to erase those thoughts that constantly plagued me, and got dressed.

A few minutes later I went downstairs to find Inuyasha already waiting for me in the kitchen, still looking hard at the floor. The cookies had been

"Come on, Inuyasha, now that that the cookies are done we can decorate them! I said cheerily, and he nodded somewhat numbly and followed me to the counter. I got out the icing and sprinkles and we started. For a while he was pretty quiet, but eventually after he broke like five cookies he got frustrated and slammed down his knife.

"Kagome these damn cookies don't work!" He said, exasperatedly. I laughed, which didn't seem to help much.

"Maybe you just aren't being gentile enough, Inuyasha, they are delicate."

"Maybe you're delicate. Stupid delicate humans. Stupid delicate human cookies. Everything you people do have to fall apart if you give it the slightest touch!" He grumbled, crossing his arms.

"Aw, Inuyasha, you're just sore 'cause you can't do it." I taunted a little. "Here, you have to spread the icing like this," I demonstrated, gently pulling the knife through the icing on top of the cookie.

"Well maybe I'll just do it like this!" He said, smushing some blue icing on my nose.

"Inuyasha!" I screeched indignantly, but couldn't help laughing a little.

"Or this." He grinned devilishly as he smeared some more on my cheek.

"Ooh, you're gonna get it now, buster," I said, and proceeded to dip my finger in the icing and smush a great glob on his forehead. This meant war.

Ten minutes, and a couple of jars of icing later, we both sat across from each other on the kitchen floor, panting. We both had icing all our faces, arms, and clothing.

"Oh, Inuyasha, look at us, "I giggled, "and we just showered, too!"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Inuyasha sniffed, putting his nose in the air, "I think I look fabulous."

"Oh, ok, "I snorted.

"Hey, shut up, you started it."

"I started it?" I replied incredulously, "No way, mister, that was totally you,"

"Yeah yeah, whatever. Maybe I'll finish it, too," His eyes glinted, and he pounced on me, tackling me backward.

"Hey, woah, not fair!" I cried out between my laughter as he tickled me mercilessly, "Abuse! Abuse!" When he finally relented, I was panting, and he was sitting next to me, a victorious look on his face.

"Well now I'm still covered in icing!" I exclaimed, my hands on my hips.

"Well, so am I!" Inuyasha retorted.

"yeah, and whose fault is that?" I teased.

"Yours!"

"Oh yeah." I replied sheepishly, "well let me just fix that for you," I said, moving crawling towards him across the floor. I ran a finger along his cheek and licked the icing off, giggling.

"There." I laughed, "All better."

"I think you missed a tiny spot," Inuyasha rolled his eyes sarcastically, gesturing to his entire face, which was covered in icing.

"Oops." I whispered, half smiling, gently trailing a finger through the frosting on his face. I stared into his eyes, gazing happily, lost in the moment. I was snapped back to reality when he cleared his throat, looking embarrassed, and got to his feet.

"I'm going to go change and wash up…" He mumbled, avoiding my eyes.

"Yeah me too," I said hurriedly, jumping to my feet, and walking swiftly out the door. When I was back in the comfort of my own room, I cursed myself and shook my head in disgust. I ran to the bathroom, and threw my clothes off in the hamper. I then bent over the sink and scrubbed my face trying to get off something more than icing, but even after my skin was red from it, I still felt dirty. I got dressed again, trying to shake it off, and clear my mind.

A little while and a tiny drink later (shhhh) I had managed to push back my feelings, and sat once again with Inuyasha on the couch downstairs. We had just turned on a movie and were underneath a big blanket to keep us warm. I was snuggled up to Inuyasha, getting a little cozier than I knew I should, and would feel guilty for later.

But for now, I was warm and comfy, watching one of my favorite movies, A Walk to Remember, and basking in Inuyasha's scent and the feeling of his body so close to mine. It was a romantic movie, one that I always cried at, but beautiful. I stole the chance to hold on tight to his arm and snuggle closer when things got sad, but deep down I knew the movie wasn't the only reason I was crying at the end. And when Inuyasha put his arm around me to comfort me, it was like sweet poison, and tugged on my heart even more.

"God, women." Inuyasha sighed, "always cry over nothing."

"You are heartless!" I said indignantly, punching him lightly in the arm.

"Whatever." He said, "Stupid chick flick."

"Fine, you pick the next one," I replied, drying my tears.

"Ok." Inuyasha agreed, and got up to pick the next DVD. I watched him kneel in front of the TV as he browsed through the movies, picked one, and inserted it carefully. I couldn't help staring at his cute little butt, but quickly jerked my gaze up embarrassed as he turned around to sit back down.

The movie was some action film I'd never seen, with crude jokes and lots of violence, a typical boy movie. I never liked violent movies, and wasn't very interested in this one, so I zoned out a little, stealing glimpses at Inuyasha's beautiful eyes or just closing mine and enjoying his presence, pretending we were different people, in a different place, who could be together.

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew I was in a dark room, in a bed, alone. Or so I thought.

"Boo!" I shrieked and shot up in bed at the sound and the sudden appearance of a face above mine.

"Who's scary now?" I picked out the glinting smile and smug eyes of Inuyasha, and began slapping him, between insults and curses. Inuyasha just laughed and got up off the bed.

"Night princess." He said as he closed the door behind him.


	6. Chapter 6

The Sweetest Sin

Chapter 6

The next day was fairly quiet. We slept in until about 9, and lingered in bed, drawing the blankets closer as the air got colder. I tried to keep my eyes closed and hold on to blissful dreams a little longer, but eventually the light coming in through the windows forced me up. I shuddered as I pulled off the comforter, leaving my skin covered only by a thin silk nightie, which did little to warm me up. I dashed into the bathroom and turned on the shower, shivering as I waited for the water to heat up.

When it was warm, I practically jumped in and sighed in pleasure as the warmth flowed over me like rays of sunlight. I stayed in there for a good while, enjoying the sensation of the hot droplets pelting my skin and dreading the step out into the cold. After I shampooed and conditioned my hair, I lethargically poured some body wash into my hands and rubbed it into the loofa, making it foam wonderfully, and washed myself.

When I finally pulled myself out of the shower and into some clothing, I slung a blanket around my shoulders and crept downstairs to the kitchen, where Inuyasha and Kaede were already waiting.

I greeted them cheerfully and eagerly accepted the mug of hot coffee from Kaede as I sat down at the table, squeezing the hot mug to warm my hands.

"Cold?" Kaede chuckled, setting a plate of eggs and pancakes in front of me.

"Just a little," I smiled, and shot Inuyasha a glare when I heard his snort.

"Well the cookies you made were very good, I heard they tired you out though," Kaede said, smiling broadly.

"Yeah, I guess," I laughed a little, "Or maybe it was just Inuyasha's boring choice of movie." Inuyasha made a face at me and resumed drinking his coffee. I grinned, and continued to chat with Kaede for a while.

The rest of the morning was fairly simple and lazy. Inuyasha and I went out to get more wood for a fire, and I at least came back freezing so we made the fire quickly as I urged Inuyasha on.

"Go, go go!" I cried excitedly, giggling.

"Humans." Inuyasha muttered, rolling his eyes.

"Hey!" I exclaimed only pretend angrily, I was in too good a mood to argue.

After the fire was roaring, we ate some soup and sat around it for the afternoon, sharing anecdotes and rambled on about our lives, generally enjoying each other's company. There was a lot to catch up on, who was dating who, who's aunt had moved and bought a new house, who's cousin had recently had a baby, who's neighbor was having an affair with the mailman, etc.

Eventually, I drifted off asleep again, lulled by the crackling of the flames and the waves of heat from the fire. I suppose I fell asleep on Inuyasha's shoulder, but he didn't seem to mind because when I woke up from my wonderful nap he was sleeping soundly underneath me. I blushed a little, but not wanting to wake him, or have to move, I closed my eyes again and snuggled deeper into his chest.

I woke that evening to Inuaysha stroking my hair, but when I opened my eyes he abruptly stopped and yanked his hand away, and I could have sworn I saw a blush creeping over his cheeks.

"Good evening." I said, smiling up into his eyes and yawning.

"I was just...you had something your hair." Inuyasha babbled.

"I didn't ask." I said simply, and stood up, stretching, and kissed the top of his head before walking towards the kitchen. I lingered at the doorway, and turned back to face him for a moment.

"You're a good nap partner." And I sauntered off into the kitchen, trying to deny to myself that they sway that I put into my hips was on purpose.

I guess while we had been sleeping Kaede had been busy cooking, because I wonderful aroma greeted me when I entered the kitchen. Just as I walked in Kaede slipped the bubbling lasagna out of the oven and turned to face me, still holding the lasagna in her oven mitts. She smiled, and set the lasagna on the counter.

"I see you've woken." She said merrily as she pulled of the mitts.

"Yeah, Inuyasha and I had a real nice nap."

"I saw." Kaede nodded, "you know I've never seen him sleep so soundly. You must have some special effect on him."

I smiled and blushed, but quickly changed the subject, though I was still thinking about it.

"That lasagna smells delicious." I said, wondering if he really had slept sounder with me. _Did that mean something?_

"Well good, I'm just going to make a salad and we can have dinner in ten minutes."

"I'll help." I offered, "I can chop up the peppers and stuff if you want." _Did that mean I comforted him? Did that mean he liked me?_

"Sure, come here darling, and fetch some fixings from the fridge." Kaede said, taking out a large salad bowl and a cutting board.

"Ok." I opened the refrigerator door, and sorted through the vegetable drawer. _Was that why he was stroking my hair? Or was I making too much out of this?_ I grabbed a few green peppers, some carrots, and cucumbers. _I definitely am. There was probably just something in my hair._ I picked out some lettuce and brought it all over to the counter, closing the fridge door with my foot. _Yeah, it didn't mean anything. As if._

I chopped the peppers distractedly; still thinking about what Kaede had said when I felt a sharp prick on my finger.

"Ouch." I winced, bringing my finger to my lips and sucking on the cut in pain.

"Oh, no," Kaede said, bustling over to me and grabbing a band-aid from the cupboard on the way. "Here, let me," she took my finger and lovingly wrapped it in the band-aid, kissing it when she was done. "There. All better." I smiled and thanked her.

"Are you alright, dear? You seem out of it." She inquired.

"I'm fine," I assured her, "just a little asleep still from my nap.

A few minutes later Inuyasha came in, and we all sat down to dinner. It was kind of quiet, but everyone was eating, I guess. After dinner I went outside onto the porch with Inuaysha, leaning on the railing and looking up at the stars.

"They are so beautiful," I sighed, gazing up at them in wonder. Thousands of twinkling lights glittered and gleamed in the sky, and a large, close to full moon sat in the sky.

"Uhuh." Inuyasha grunted, uninterestedly.

"You can see about a million stars out here, not like in the city. In the city it's all smog and clouds." I gushed. Inuyasha said nothing but I felt his gaze on me. Just then I felt something cold land on my nose, and looked up in time to see a tiny snowflake falling from the sky, and then another, and another.

"Look Inuyasha!" I exclaimed, pointing. "It's snowing!"

"Yeah. First snow of the season." And then he did something odd; he just turned and smiled at me. A small one, but a smile nonetheless. I beamed back at him, and he shook his head and laughed a little.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing. Just you." He replied softly.

"Huh?"

"You're so carefree and cheerful. Excited by the small things. Like a child."

"Hey!"

"No, it's not bad. It's…it's…beautiful. Your innocence." _Innocence? I could show you my naughty side, baby. _I mentally slapped myself and shook the thought from my mind. I stared at him in surprise, and he quickly cleared his throat and mumbled a quick goodnight. After he'd disappeared, I stared back up at the sky, watching the swirling snowflakes fall.

"I think you're beautiful, Inuyasha. "I whispered to myself. "So beautiful." I sighed. "So why does this have to be so wrong?!" I kicked and railing a little angrily, but without much to it. "Oh well." I sighed again, and went back inside. I crawled up into my room and curled up in bed, letting sleep claim me and the beautiful dreams of Inuyasha come.


	7. Chapter 7

The Sweetest Sin

Chapter 7

The next day we awoke to find the cabin surrounded by snow. The ground was blanketed by fluffy white snow that glittered in the morning sunshine, and I was ecstatic. I raced down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Guys, guys, look, there's snow! Snow everywhere!" I exclaimed. Kaede chuckled and smiled but Inuyasha just rolled his eyes.

"No kidding." He said sarcastically. I bounded over him, I was not going to let him ruin my fun.

"Someone's a grumpy pants." I said mockingly, then brightened, "Let's go skiing!!!"

"That sounds wonderful, dears!" Kaede beamed.

"Uhh…" Inuyasha looked questioningly at her, but she sent him a silencing look.

"It's settled then. You kids go have fun!"

"Yay!" I squealed in excitement, Inuyasha did not seem to share my enthusiasm.

"After you eat breakfast, of course." Kaede added with a stern look.

"Sure, sure." I agreed, shoving a piece of toast down my throat and chugging a glass of orange juice. "Come one let's go get ready!" I grabbed Inuyasha's arm and dragged him out.

"How do you always have so much energy…It's nine o'clock in the morning!" Inuyasha grumbled, "And give me my hand back!"

Thirty minutes later I stood on top of the seemingly giant mountain looking like a giant pink marshmallow. I didn't care, though; I was more concerned about getting down in one piece. _It really has been a while since I've done this…_

I took a deep breath preparing my self, and tried to remember times I'd gone before.

"Ready Set Go!" Inuyasha called from behind me and then suddenly I felt a large push on my back and was sailing down through the snow.

"AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed, forgetting all my common sense and throwing out a slew of curses at Inuyasha as he gracefully zigzagged past. Boy, was he gunna get it, now….

Around three o'clock in the afternoon we finally relented and came back to the house. After a long day of skiing and playing around we were freezing, exhausted, and sore. Or, at least, I was. Inuyasha remained in his plea of invulnerable to silly human feelings. We decided to hit the hot tub and relax.

After peeling off my soaked layers and slipping on a swimsuit, I shivered and ran to the kitchen to find Inuaysha. He was waiting in his swim trunks, and Oh. My. God. I hated myself for it, but I couldn't help staring at his perfectly toned abs and strong arms_. Plus, he's naked underneath…_I imagined us in the hot tub, _maybe we rough house a bit__,... and maybe his trunks come down…NO! Damn…_

I snapped my gaze away from his crotch embarrassedly and smiled when he greeted me, although I could of sworn he had been staring at something, too, cuz he hadn't seemed to notice my staring, and had the same glazed expression. _Probably not. Shut up, he's so not into you, get over it. Plus, ew, if he was it'd be so wrong…ugh but so good…_. He pulled me outside to the patio. I yelped at the blast of cold air, and practically threw myself into the tub, as Inuyasha laughed behind me. He calmly climbed in after me and I glared.

"What are you laughing about?" I flared. Inuyasha just shook his head and laughed more. "Whatever." I closed my eyes and slid deep into the tub, relishing the feeling as the warm bubbling water thawing my sore muscles.

"Oooooh that feels good." I sighed and smiled.

"Yeah." Inuyasha agreed, "It's nice in here after being out in the cold."

"You can say that again." I began to zone out a bit as I let myself enjoy the hot tub, and I guess I didn't realize how tired I was as I started to drift off. Before I could, however, I felt a sharp tug on my foot and let out a high-pitched scream of surprise and snapped my eyes open as I felt my face submerge under the water. I popped back up and began slapping Inuyasha and scolding him, but he just laughed. I dove back under, located his leg, and bit him. Hard.

"What the fuck, did you just bite me?" Inuyasha chuckled, grinning down at me.

"Maybe." I giggled, trailing my fingers in the water. Inuyasha just rolled his eyes at me, then got a far off look in his eyes as he stared at me, and smiled gently.

"What's up with you?" I made a face and stared at him.

"Nothing." He whispered.

"Okay, you're being weird."

"No, it's just, look it's snowing." He gestured to the snowflakes dancing around us softly. "Some landed on your eyelashes and it was pretty." I stared incredulously at him, not believing what I had just heard. But then, the moment was ruined as Inuyasha cleared his throat and got out of the tub quickly.

"I better go shower." He grunted, the far off look gone from his eyes, and he wrapped himself in a towel and scrambled inside. I sighed. Did I just ruin it again? _No, because there was nothing to ruin. _


	8. Chapter 8

Sweetest Sin Chapter 8

The rest of that night was yet another internal war, emotions and desires spinning around out of control, and I sat in the midst, trying to make sense of the whirlwind around me. Bottling my feelings, pushing away my emotions, putting myself down as disgusting and sinful, and telling myself to get over it only went so far. With each day it had gotten harder, and I was ready to burst. But somehow, I had to put it behind me again, try to forget, try to move on. Try to make myself believe it didn't matter so I could go act normal with Inuyasha and Kaede. I couldn't help it; all the stress got to me, and broke down and cried myself to sleep.

When I woke up I had a pounding headache, a symptom all too familiar after one of countless nights of wearing myself out with tears. I groaned and dragged myself out of bed, popping some aspirin and turning on the tub faucet. I poured in some bubble bath and slipped off my nightie, watching as the bath filled up and the bubble mounds grew and gave off a rosy fragrance. It was my favorite. I breathed it in deeply and sunk into the hot water to clear my head, and to start a fresh day. I needed this before I could face them.

When I finally felt healed, or as healed as I ever would, I wrapped my hair in a towel and threw on my bathrobe. I ambled downstairs gingerly, and met Kaede and Inuaysha at the breakfast table. I greeted them with a smile more forced than normal, and took a seat. I was a bit alarmed when I noticed the way Inuyasha was looking at me. It was like,...like he was trying to figure something out, and was mixed with…concern? It almost looked like he knew something, but said nothing. He finally looked away sharply when I cleared my throat and began talking to Kaede.

We sat and ate breakfast, warm and delicious as always, and I told Kaede all about our adventures skiing the previous day, but Inuaysha just sat quietly, the look back as he watched us converse. It was a little eerie and I felt somewhat uncomfortable, _Did he know something? What could he possibly know? Did he hear me crying? _I pushed the thoughts aside, they didn't matter now, as I cleared my plate and inquired about the plans for the day ahead.

"Well, I thought today would be good to set up the Christmas lights. And I baked all the walls and stuff for a gingerbread house, and have decorations ready for you two to put it together." Kaede smiled. Inuyasha seemed to sort of snap out of his trance as I excitedly agreed and turned to him cheerily.

"This will be loads of fun Inuaysha!" I exclaimed. He grunted and nodded slowly, but I didn't care. I was ready to have fun and to be strong and, at least for today, not care what he was thinking. It was far more easily said than done, as all my promises to myself and strict decisions seemed to dissolve away when he so much as looked at me, and suddenly my head was cleared from any thought except the extreme need to feel his embrace, inhale his musky scent, taste his lips on mine, feel his skin on mine...

After I had dressed Kaede hauled two giant cardboard boxes from the basement, filled to the brim with Christmas lights to hang around the house, wreaths to hang on the door, and garlands to trail on the railing of the stairs. We set to work, I with far more gusto than Inuyasha, but oh well.

We started out with the wreath, as it was simplest, and Inuaysha and I grabbed a nail and a hammer from the tool shed, and stepped onto the front steps. We stood before the heavy wood door and I reached up to put the nail at the top.

"What are you doing?" Inuaysha scoffed.

"Putting the nail in, what does it look like?" I retorted.

"Give me that," Inuyasha pushed me aside and hammered the nail in with ease.

"Hey!" I called out indignantly, but he just rolled his eyes.

"You couldn't reach anyway, plus you'd probably mess up and hurt yourself." I grumbled angrily at that, but knew it was true. I suppose I was a teensy bit of a klutz. Then, Inuaysha handed me the wreath, and to my confusion, followed by surprise and panic, grabbed me around the waist and lifted me straight off the ground.

"What are you doing?" I cried, kicking my feet violently, as I tried in vain to resist his superhuman strength. "Put me down!"

"God, you idiot. I'm lifting you so you can put the wreath up yourself. I thought you'd want that." He said, annoyed. I stopped kicking, and turned to look at his face.

"Really? I asked breathlessly.

"Yeah, whatever." He mumbled, avoiding my gaze.

"That is so sweet!" I cooed and kissed his forehead with (difficulty) and enthusiasm, as Inuaysha turned bright red.

"Yeah, whatever. Just put the damn thing up."

"Oh, right." I giggled and turned back to gingerly place the beautiful wreath to hang on the nail, and turned into Inuyasha to hug him tightly as I slid down to the ground from his arms.

"Come on let's go!" I called, and grabbed his hand to drag him back inside. After that, we had a lot of fun and Inuaysha lightened up a little bit.

We did the garlands on the banister next. I climbed the stairs to the top, with one end of the garland clutched tight in my hand. Inuyasha stood at the bottom, arms out and ready, looking slightly concerned. I tied one end to the top, and prepared myself.

"Kagome, are you sure this is a good Ide-" Inuyasha's worried question was cut off by my yelp of glee as I hopped onto the banister and slid down like a rocket, twirling the garland around it as I went. It's a wonder I didn't rip it. Inuyasha let out a muffled "oof" and I shot off and into his arms. He teetered back a bit from my force, but kept his ground.

"See. That was fine!" I cried happily, my eyes gleaming. I grinned, my arms still wrapped tightly around his neck and my legs around his middle, "And wasn't it fun?!" I giggled. Inuyasha rolled his eyes.

"Sure." He muttered, and let go of me, causing me to fall with a loud thump to the ground, and walked away.

"Hey!" I yelled angrily from the floor, and scrambled to my feet to chase after him.

We spent the rest of the morning stringing bright lights around the house delicately, and carefully. By the time we sat down for lunch, the house looked like a winter wonderland, glistening with little twinkling lights and spotted with Christmas cheer in the form of evergreen garlands strung with little bows and pinecones.


	9. Chapter 9

The Sweetest Sin

Chapter 9

After warming our tummies with large bowls of soup for lunch, Inuyasha built up a nice, roaring fire and we just sat and relaxed for a little while. I sat on the couch next to him and curled under one of Kaede's cozy, knitted blankets with a book, while he sat expressionlessly, simply staring into the fire. He was sort of glazed, not really seeing the fire, and it was clear there was lots going on in his head, but it was impossible to tell what, and his face gave no clues to his emotions.

Without realizing it, I watched him, and not my book for quite some time, wondering what he was hiding behind those big golden orbs. Or was he hiding anything at all? I wondered wistfully if he had ever for a second thought of me the way I had of him, and try as I might, I could not stop looking at him and thinking about him.

I guess it's especially hard during the holidays, when you feel so happy and romantic, and you want someone to be romantic with. Yes, of course, I've had boyfriends, in fact I'd recently broken it off with one about a month ago, but I could never fully seem to be there, with them. Part of me was always longing for Inuyasha and wishing it was him I was crawling into bed with, and not some other guy, no matter how great he was.

Finally, he looked up from the fire and turned to me to give me a weird look, and I laughed nervously and snapped out of my thoughts and dreams to reality.

"Why are you looking at me…?" He said slowly, raising an eyebrow.

"I dunno. You were just looking so intently at the fire, what were you thinking about?" I asked merrily, turning more fully to him, smiling broadly, and drawing my knees up.

"Nothing." Inuyasha snapped and looked away. I frowned a bit, taken aback by his sudden outburst.

"Geez, okay." I held my hands up defensively, "Lighten up." I laughed, and then a wicked thought struck me.

"Hey you know what…" I trailed slowly, and pounced on him and began tickling.

"Tickle fight!" I screamed playfully.

"You'll never learn, will you?" Inuaysha smiled, and easily threw me over so he was on top, and tickled me fiercely. I screamed and laughed till I was nearly crying, wriggling futilely under his massive muscles, which I could not even budge.

"Stop!" I cried out between gasps for air and laughter.

"Beg me." Inuaysha smirked.

"Please!" I shouted breathlessly.

"Please who?" He taunted, continuing his assault.

"Please Inuyasha!" I shrieked.

"Come one you know better than that." He grinned, and tickled harder.

"Please Master Inuaysha!" I managed to get out between fitful bouts of laughter.

"LOUDER!" He bellowed, a mock angry look on his face.

"PLEASE MASTER INUYASHA HAVE MERCY!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, my sides aching.

"That's better." Inuaysha contented, and rolled off me. I glared, and panted hard as he laughed.

"Ooh, just you wait, mister man!" I threatened, but he just laughed harder. I was going to yell something at him, but at that moment, Kaede walked in with a giant smile on her lips and an even bigger tray pilled high with gingerbread house parts, icing, candies, chocolates, marshmallows, and sprinkles.

"Here, kids." She glowed as she set the tray down happily on the table. "You can make it in front of the nice warm fire!"

We thanked her and she skipped out, with an amazing amount of energy around her for a woman of her age. Then, we set straight to work, piecing together the gingerbread walls and roof, I, ever so carefully, but Inuyasha, ever impatient, got angry when they wouldn't stay and broke a few walls. Inuyasha grumbled angrily in growing frustration, and did not seem to think his difficulties were as funny as I did. However, Kaede, wonderful, ever-prepared woman, must have known he would, because there was two of everything.

Even so, half an hour later, we were covered in icing and the house looked sort of lopsided. As we went to decorate it, Inuyasha ate more candies than he put on, but with my superior design skills and my eye for art, it turned out looking quite quaint when we finished.

"So, do we eat it now?" Inuyasha asked as I admired our (well mostly my) work.

"No, you idiot, it's for decoration, not for eating!" I sighed exasperatedly. "Besides you already ate most of it." I rolled my eyes. Inuyasha grumbled to himself, but did not protest further.

That night was filled with excitement with the news that tomorrow we would pick out our Christmas tree, and I fell asleep happily imagining the bright day ahead and dreaming of little Christmas elves wrapping a big certain someone in a box for me. _And maybe his pants come down a little as I open it…_


	10. Chapter 10

The Sweetest Sin

Chapter 10

Author's note:

Hey guys I really like it when you review and tell me what you think of my latest chapters, but I haven't gotten many for this story, and I haven't gotten any for quite some time with this story, so I'm kind of bummed. If you like the story, please take a few seconds to comment when a new chapter comes out, or something, it doesn't seem like a big deal, but it is to me. Because the more you guys review the more excited I get and the more I want to update, but if no one leaves a review it's like well nobody's reading this so why should I keep going? So please just leave something quick when you do read a chapter, it only takes a second and it makes al the difference

Thanks!

The next morning I awoke cheerily, my face shining with excitement. I bounded down the stairs to meet Kaede and Inuyasha in the kitchen or breakfast as usual.

"Good morning!" I chirped, and hugged Inuyasha and Kaede as I entered.

"Good morning, darling!" Kaede greeted me back, warm and merry as ever. Inuyasha grunted. Oh well.

"Someone is extra cheerful this morning!" Kaede observed.

"Yeah, I'm really excited to pick out the tree and decorate it!" I said, grinning.

"You're always really excited for everything." Inuyasha said, rolling his eyes. I slapped him lightly with the newspaper he was holding.

"Yeah, well you're never excited for anything." I retorted, pretend pouting.

"That's not true. I'm excited for you to shut up." He replied emotionlessly, not looking up from the paper.

"Inuyasha!" I protested angrily, gasping at his rudeness.

"Just kidding," He said, laughing a bit, and smiling up at me, "Lighten up."

"Lighten up, ooo, Inuyasha!" I seethed, and chased him around the kitchen before finally realizing defeat; I was no match for his speed. I sighed and slumped in my chair, pouting.

"Jeez, Kagome," Inuyasha said as he strolled back over, and picked me straight up out of my chair, holding me in his arms bridal style. Then he pinched my cheeks and made mocking faces at me as he said in a baby voice, "Learn to take a joke, gosh," And with that he promptly dropped me to the floor.

"INUYASHA!"I yelled, only half angry, and chased him round and round the house until I could run no more, all the while as he laughed and taunted and I tried.

An hour later, I was showered and dressed, and ready to go. I was all bundled up, ready to pick a tree. We all piled in the car and drove a few miles down the road until we got to a quaint little nursery where Inuyasha pulled over and we all hopped out. We went over to the pine tree section, which was full of trees, hundreds surrounding us.

"Wooahhhhh." I sighed in awe, looking around at all the pine trees, and inhaling the deep fragrance of their needles. Inuyasha laughed at me but I didn't care. I began inspecting each one, looking for the fullest, the tallest, the most symmetrical, and the perfect one. Inuyasha made fun of me for caring so much to get the perfect tree, but I was too caught up to pay him any heed. I guess this was something I inherited from my mother, along with her hair and eyes.

I finally found the perfect one, and it was beautiful. I hugged it happily and said, "this is it. The perfect tree"

"Tree hugger." Inuyasha muttered under his breath. "Took you long enough."

"Okay," Kaede laughed, and turned to the owner, "I like this one, too. We'll take it."

"Yay!" I squealed and bounced around happily, hugging Kaede and Inuyasha, who grunted and rolled his eyes again. I glared at him, and smeared some sap in his hair when he wasn't looking. I'd get hell for ruining Inuyasha's perfect hair later, but I didn't care. However, twenty minutes later the tree war ready and packed, and we were climbing into the car again to set off home.

As we were driving Inuyasha sniffed and said, "Jeez, it still smells like pine." I giggled, and when Inuyasha lifted his hand to his hair and found the glob of sap as he was pushing it out of his face, I laughed harder at the look of horror and anger on his face.

"KAGOOOOOMEEEEEE!!!!!!"

After we got home and Kaede has calmed Inuyasha down and helped him wash it out, we had lunch and brought the tree inside. Afterwards he was still glaring at me as we hoisted the tree up in the corner of the living room in front of the window.

"Come, now, Inuyasha," Kaede reasoned, "if we are going to trim this tree you must put away that frown and forget about your hair."

"Fine." Inuyasha grumbled, shooting me a death look and mumbling, "bitch" under his breath.

"Inuyasha," Kaede warned, sending Inuyasha a dangerous look. He sighed and muttered something incoherent but gave in.

We brought up four big cardboard boxes from the basement, filled with glittering and shining balls, lights, stars, crystals, and other ornaments. We strung the lights up first, and then hung each delicate ornament with care, and an hour later the tree was beautiful. We sat back, admiring our work, and Inuyasha built up a roaring fire for us to enjoy as we sat together in the living room, basking in the glory of the tree. Soon Kaede left to cook in the kitchen, and Inuyasha and I were left on the couch by ourselves. We didn't talk much, just let the warmth of the crackling fire envelop us and relaxed, enjoying each other's company.

Soon, I drifted off on Inuyasha's lap as the fire burned low, succumbing to the fire's glow. I dreamed of my mother, dreamed of one winter afternoon when I was about five or so, which was about as far back as I could remember in my life. We were decorating the tree, too, and I could hear my mother's laugh, see her face so vividly, I could feel her warm embrace the dream was so strong. Then the dream progressed, and it was another winter afternoon, and I was six. Then seven, then eight, reliving the memories of each Christmas past with my mother through three years ago, when I was twenty, the last Christmas I ever had with her. The dream shook me, and when I woke up I was crying. Inuyasha must have brought me upstairs because I was in my bed again, underneath the covers.

A wave of emotion hit me like a ton of bricks, left over from the dream, still vivid in my mind. I felt a pang for her, and thought again of how much I missed her. I couldn't help it; the tears started streaming down my face, my knees weak. I brought my knees up to my chest and held them tight, remembering how my mother used to hold me and tell me everything would be okay when I was sad or scared. I remembered her face so vividly, her flowing dark locks that framed her face like a angle's, her loving, deep cobalt eyes, and her rosy, smile that never seemed to leave her lips, lighting up her whole face. I could remember her voice, too, her soothing, beautiful voice, and her soft laugh that seemed to make the world stop for a moment to revel in it's beauty. I cried harder as I remembered that, didn't realize how loud I was. At least, it was loud for a demon's ears. I buried my face in my knees and sobbed.

My face snapped up though as I heard the door opening slowly, and sniffled, trying to wipe my tears as Inuyasha came in.

"What do you want?" I asked harshly, trying to hide my tears.

"Come now, Kagome, You know what I am. You must know I can smell your tears, can hear your quiet sobs from a mile away."

"So? Just leave me alone."

"Hey, hey, calm down." He said gently, sitting down on the bed next to me. "Tell me what's wrong."

"Why so you can make fun of me for another of my human weaknesses?" I hiccupped, the tears still pouring down my face.

"No, of course not, Kagome." He said, taken aback, he wiped the tears from my cheeks and brushed my hair out of my face delicately, "I would never do that. Don't ever suggest that again. I care about you a lot, Kagome, and never want to see you cry."

I was shocked by his niceness; he had never been like this since I was very young. I stared at him, at a loss for words.

"Kagome, you were always there for me as a kid, because we were best friends. We are best friends, so now it's my turn to be there for you. What's the matter?"

His words shocked me, and suddenly the childhood friend seemed to be back, without the hard outer shell. I felt weak and overwhelmed, and fresh tears came as I told him about my mother, and collapsed into his arms. I instantly felt relief and safety in his arms as he comforted me and held me close. He dried my tears and talked to me for what must have been hours, just lying in bed with me holding me close and hugging me tight to his body, making me feel loved and protected, and okay. I buried my face into his chest and he stroked my hair, and held me ever after we had stopped talking. As I was falling back asleep, I could have sworn I felt a tear drop of his plop onto my head, but I wrote it off as my imagination as I drifted asleep in the comfort of his arms.


	11. Chapter 11

The Sweetest Sin

Chapter 11

The next morning I woke, to my surprise, to find myself still in the firm hold of Inuyasha's strong arms. _I can't believe he stayed with me all night! That's so sweet, at least even if he doesn't love me the way I love him, he still cares about me as a friend. And that's they way we always have to be…friends. _A tear slid down my face at that thought and my internal conflict of emotions, because I was so happy to be in his arms, so close, but it was almost like a tease. Like "Here's what it would be like to have me,…too bad you can't. Isn't this just the best? Too bad it's not real." I buried my face in his chest trying to ignore my problems and just be happy to be in his arms now, even if it wasn't permanent, or wasn't even real.

Inuyasha woke, however, as the tear had fallen. Damn his demon instincts. He looked at me worriedly, and wiped the tear away.

"Why are you crying again?" He asked, still rubbing my cheek as if trying to erase any remnants to the tear.

"Oh, nothing, I just poked my eye by accident." I lied, plastering on a smile, but I could tell he didn't believe me. He didn't push me, though, to my relief. "Thank you for last night." I whispered, tearing my eyes from his.

"Whatever." He said. "I just hate to see you cry and get gross tears all over everything."

I smiled, Inuyasha was back to normal, but I didn't mind. His caring side caused me such heartache, anyway.

"Uh, I gotta go." Inuyasha said suddenly, embarrassment taking over yet again, and disentangled himself from me quickly, closing the door gingerly behind him. I sighed and stared at the spot where he had been for a few minutes, trying to hold on to the feeling of his embrace, his smell so close, the sound of his heartbeat.

Eventually I rolled out of bed and went to the bathroom to clean myself up. Boy, was I a mess. My hair was gigantic, and my face was streaked and puffy from the night before. I groaned at my image and hopped into the shower to try to make myself look human again.

That day, it was pretty quiet, we had some breakfast, made a fire, and pretty much lounged around for a while, the events of the previous night still etched in my brain. I tried not to let it show, but I was distant and lost in thought most of the day. In the afternoon, Inuyasha said he was going out to do errands, and wouldn't be back for a few hours, so I was left to my thoughts with just the occasional interruption from Kaede. I walked up to my room, and stood by my bed. I traced the blankets with my fingers as if trying to feel his heat again. _I wonder what mom would think about all this, about him. About me. About him and me. She would know what to do I'm sure, but would I like her answer? _ I crept out of the room, not really aware of where I was going, just walking, just following my feet. A few minutes later I found myself at the door to Inuyasha's bedroom, and stood for a moment. I was curious. He wouldn't be home for hours, why shouldn't I? It couldn't possibly hurt…

I slowly turned the doorknob and pushed. I snuck around the door and into his room. His bed was on one side, a little nightstand next to it, a closet, a dresser, and the door to his bathroom. Other than that the room was fairly simple. I switched on the light and decided to take a look around. _What could possibly go wrong, anyway?_

I started by poking around in his bathroom, where there was a mirror, a sink, a cabinet, toilet, and a shower, the works. I couldn't help but giggle at the Sesame street Ernie and rubber ducky shower curtain. I pulled it back. _That's where he showers, that's his shampoo, that's the body wash that rubs all over himself…_I popped the top and inhaled the musky scent. Yep, definitely his. Carefully closing the curtain I crossed I left the bathroom and closed the door behind me quietly.

I checked out his dresser next, sniffing his shirts, which smelled of him, and burying my face in them.

No pajamas, I noticed…

Then I opened what must have been the boxer drawer. I blushed and slammed it shut, then started laughing at it. _ I think I just inadvertently got in his pants…not that I mind._ More blushes.

I crossed to his bed and flopped down, where the scent of him was especially strong. I wrapped myself in covers and closed my eyes, enjoying it, a smile creeping over my face. I put my face deep in the pillow and inhaled deeply. Mmmmmm. Then I felt something strange underneath me. I patted the pillow, and distinctly felt something hard. Curious, I lifted it up, to find a small leather journal. _ That's funny I never thought of Inuyasha as a writing type_. I undid the strap, and flipped back the cover. What I saw next made my curiosity spike, and startled me into dropping the book.

Written in delicate cursive on the page was "Kagome."

I'd like to thank all my reader's and give special thanks to my recent reviewers:

Frankiegirl2020

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And some of my old reviewers who I never got a chance to thank:

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Every review means so much to me and makes me want to update even more, so keep them coming, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	12. Chapter 12

The Sweetest Sin

Chapter 12

I dived to grab the book and numbly opened it, not believing what I had seen. I opened to the front page, and my heart skipped a beat. Or a few. There it was, carefully and delicately written in curvy black ink, "Kagome." I swallowed hard and turned the page. It appeared to be some sort of journal. My eyes raced over the entries inside, my head spinning as I tried to digest what I was seeing.

"…and she's so **beautiful** I damn my own bad luck that am a hanyou and unsoutable for a human like her every day…"

"…I can't help but notice her beautiful smile and sparkling eyes **and when she laughs** it's like a thousand tiny bells making me swoon…"

"…When I'm with her **I feel at peace**…"

"…The other day all it took was a little gust of wind to send her long shiny locks flying**, ****as** **if they were dancing**…"

"…**How much longer** can I keep these feelings inside…"

"…It's **sick**, it's **wrong**, but I can't resist…"

"…When she speaks my heart does **flips flops**…"

"…**I can't resist her**, when she's around I'm like putty in her hands…"

My heart was racing and I couldn't believe what I was seeing. _ Is this really how he feels?_ At first I thought I must have imagined it, and I slammed the book closed, then slowly reopened it, but there they all were, and more.

"…every move she makes is like an **angel's**…"

"…these few days together have brought back **so many feelings** that I don't know **if I can suppress them again**…"

"…and I know it's wrong an I shouldn't feel this way, **but how can I help it**?"

"…every day when she leaves **I hate myself** for how much I can't deny** I care for her**…"

"…today I woke up with her in my arms and now I don't think I ever want to **wake up any other way**"

"...she finds **joy** and amusement in the **littlest things**. It's like she's seeing everything for the first time the way she marvels at things..."

"…I realized last night after holding her in my arms, that **I can't live without her**…"'

"…I can't lie to myself any longer…it's impossible to ignore that **I love her**…"

I sunk to my knees, overwhelmed with a sudden sea of emotions, and I began to feel sick. I violently shoved the notebook back under the pillow and ran. I flung myself onto my bed and curled up in fetal position, trying to comprehend what I'd just seen. At first I was overjoyed, _I can't believe it, he loves me, too! I never knew he had all these feelings for me! _ I was overcome with joy and giddy with excitement, before I realized what this really meant. _..But we still can't be together…even if I'm not the only one who wants it…so now, I know he feels…The man I love loves me back and I know it, but I can't tell himI know…So now, I'm burdened with the knowledge I can never act upon, and I have to be responsible and push aside my feelings and desires for what is right…_ I started to cry now, unable to hold back the flood of feelings I now harbored, so I sank in defeat, and let them run free down my face, not caring about anything else. _ Dammnit Inuyasha, what have you done to me?_

Thanks again to all my reviewers, it's so nice to hear you guys and really gets me motivated to write, so thanks to all of you who reviewed my story, here's a special thanks to all of my recent reviewers:

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And all my reviewers old or new!

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AsHlEy-LoVeS-bEn


	13. Chapter 13

The Sweetest Sin

Chapter thirteen

I cried the whole afternoon, feeling helpless and trapped, and when Inuyasha finally got home I jumped in the shower to wash away the scent of my tears and to clean myself up, but I could tell he still knew something was wrong. I was quiet and avoided his gaze that night, and thankfully he couldn't figure out for the life of him what was wrong with me. He never mentioned it, either, just stared nervously at me from across the table, as we sat awkwardly in silence. Kaede seemed not to notice anything, though, cheery and oblivious, bless her heart, she sat chattering away happily.

****

That night I tossed and turned, still unable to wrap my head around the events of the day. Now I knew how truly hopeless the situation was, but it was going to be so much harder to keep it a secret now that I knew. I cursed myself a million times for looking in his room, why did I have to be so damn nosy. I guess I had it coming. At least now I didn't have to wonder anymore, just wallow in my own misery of the truth.

****

The morning after I had crept back into his room to see it again, to make sure I wasn't imagining it. And of course, there it was, his feelings poured out on a page to rip me apart. I cried again when I saw them, and fled the room so as not to be caught.

******

The next few days trudged by, and try as I may I could not be happy. I couldn't even pretend, because as soon as my fake smile was settling in _he_ would walk in and I wouldn't be able to hold my act. I tried to forget and move on, but those words were branded into my brain, all I saw when I closed my mind, all I heard when they echoed in my mind, and all I imagined him saying when he spoke. Those three little words that had the most impact, that I could never forget. "_I love her."_ I distanced myself and avoided him everywhere I went, without being too obvious. I kept to myself, closed myself in, and shut my feelings out. Because that was the only way to shut him out. So I smiled, I laughed, I conformed to their cheer, but behind my eyes was misery all around, growing stronger by the day.

What made it worse was that I couldn't stop thinking about it. I stole any chance I could to go back and read more. To reread. To confirm what I'd seen. It became an obsession, I couldn't go a minute without wondering what else he'd written, needing to see those lines again, planning my next secret escape to his room.

I was blinded by my obsession, and got careless a few times. Inuyasha mentioned more than once that he smelled my scent in his room, and asked if I'd been in there. I'd mumble something lame, like that I was getting his laundry, changing his sheets, borrowing shampoo, or looking for a book. And then I had to actually do them, to keep from getting suspicious, as if he wasn't already. I knew it was pathetic, and Inuyasha could right through me, knew I wasn't telling the truth. But what could I do? I couldn't control myself anymore. I was addicted, and there was no denying it.

*************

Dear readers:

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my chapters, I love them! They make me happy and inspire me, and keep in mind they don't have to be long thought out paragraphs, just take second to say what you thought real quick, and that's fine. I would just like to mention that I am very busy with everything going on in my life, and I have a ton of work to do, so while I love writing, and try to update as often as I can, the weekends are really the times when I can get a chance to write a new chapter, and sometimes I have enough time during weekdays to update, but that's not always. So, I'm sorry to leave you hanging, but sometimes I just can't slip in the time to update during the week and have to save it for weekends, so while today and yesterday I was able to, I can't always do that, and I'm sorry. I will try to update as soon as possible, and thank you so much to my reviewers:

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	14. Chapter 14

The Sweetest Sin

Chapter 14

It had been a few days since I had first found the journal and this morning was not unlike others. I had tossed and turned restlessly in bed waiting for a safe moment that Inuyasha would be gone from his room for me to go steal a peak of my fantasy. And then have to remind myself, yet again, that it was nothing more. What never was, and never could be, regardless of how close it seemed, I knew it was always a million miles away. Or even just a centimeter from my grasp, but it didn't matter because despite how hard I tired, I would never reach it.

So eventually I fed the hunger inside me and snuck to Inuyasha's room again and delved into his journal, devouring his words passionately, as if they were the air I breathed. But I was too enveloped in my need to read those words again, I had been careless. This time I had not waited long enough, and had misjudged Inuyasha, making a fatal error.

Lost in my own word, I didn't even hear him enter from his bathroom, where he had taken a little longer in his morning shower. I stiffened as I felt hot breath on my shoulder, and dropped the journal. I slowly turned my head to meet Inuyasha's fiery gaze.

"What…are you…doing." He asked slowly, teeth gritted and fists clenched. He looked like he might explode.

"I, uh, nothing, I mean, I was just…" I floundered, caught off guard and terrified.

"Were you reading my PRIVATE journal?" He asked, obviously trying to contain his rage.

"No, I, of course not—"

"DON'T LIE TO ME!" He shouted, and grabbed my wrist, practically throwing me up off the bed and to my feet. "THAT WAS MY PRIVATE JOURNAL! YOU HAVE NO FUCKING BUSINESS LOOKING IN THERE! I should have known I couldn't trust you! They were right, humans are worthless lying deceitful betraying bastards!" He voice dropped dangerously low, his eyes glinting furiously, "I thought you were different. How naiive I was!" He laughed horribly, a terrible smile on his lips.

I stared in shock at him, unable to speak. My heart had plummeted, I felt nauseous, and I felt a lump forming in my throat.

"Well, now you know." He whispered venomously, "Are you happy?" I shook my head slowly, unable to make the words come.

"GET OUT!" He bellowed, pointing to the door. I couldn't help it any longer, tears began to stream down my face. "I said GET OUT!" He yelled even louder, and threw me towards the door. I tripped form the force and fell to my knees, shaking with sobs in front of the door.

"You're pathetic." He snarled, and pushed me out the door, slamming it behind me.

Hey guys here's the next update, sorry it took so long! Thanks to all my readers and reviewers, and happy holidays!

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AsHlEy-LoVeS-bEn


	15. Chapter 15

The Sweetest Sin

Chapter 15

Hey guys,

Sorry this update took soooo long, I was on vacation away from a computer,

But now I can finally give you guys the net chapter, so here you go!

Thanks again to all my readers and reviewers:

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metalcherry

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P.S.-I am a total FRIENDS fan and I love love love them, and I snuck in a quote somewhere in here. If you watch friends, see if you can find it. All rights reserved to the makers of FRIENDS!

That afternoon I had locked myself in my room, sobbing uncontrollably and feeling helpless, hopeless, finished. I curled up in bed and cried until I had no more tears left. I've been doing a lot of that lately. I was also terrified of Inuyasha, still shaken by his shouts. Cut by his words. I was in anguish. As bad as it had ever gotten before, it was worse. As low as I had ever felt, it was like now, there was rock bottom, fifty feet of crap, then me.

And then I realized how much I had really screwed up. Because even if could have never been together, we still could have been friends. Now I'd thrown away my lifelong friend, who above all, I had loved as such, and had loved me. Not even romantically, but aside form that I had had one of the best friends I could have asked for. Strong, Kind, caring (even if he didn't always show it—it was there when it really counted) understanding, and unconditionally loving. Until now, that is. Not that I could blame him. I would be furious if someone had read my personal diary, especially someone who I trusted.

I considered leaving, but I couldn't do that to Kaede. At least for her sake I'd have to pretend. I could never make her unhappy. Besides, leaving would mean giving a reason, and this was not something I wanted to share with anyone. I barely accepted it myself.

So instead, I climbed into a hot bath, and wondered what Inuyasha was thinking. Wondering if he could ever forgive me.

The next few days were absolutely awful. Inside I was breaking every time I saw him, but I had to smile for Kaede's sake and pretend nothing was wrong. Inuyasha was civil to me when Kaede was around, but barely. He barely spoke to me, instead talking to Kaede as if he'd never heard her speak before. I had to talk to her a lot to for my act. And it worked. Kaede, startled by all the sudden attention, was too focused on what we were saying to her to notice what we weren't saying to each other.

But when we weren't at meals, he completely ignored me. Didn't even glance my way. If we bumped into each other in the hallway, he would brush past without even looking up. It was beyond disdain and hatred. It was total indifference. He did not act mad, he just did not act at all. It was as if he had forgotten my existence, and it killed me.

It was like I drifted through the days, a broken shell of a girl, crushed from the trauma, irreversibly changed. I barely noticed the world move around me, trapped in my own private hell. Reality and Fantasy had merged, and at times, I was not even sure what was real. But did know pain, and that was real. I knew pain, and disparity, and misery. I knew what it was to give up.


	16. Chapter 16

The Sweetest Sin

Chapter 16

Hey guys,

I double-updated! Hope this makes up for the wait.

Thanks again to all my readers and reviewers:

AsHlEy-LoVeS-bEn

Metalcherry

that person

Frankiegirl2020

Arells

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**********

Christmas was getting closer. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. And as much fun as this whole thing was, I couldn't stand it anymore, and I definitely could not have Christmas like this. I had to do something. I had to at least try. I missed Inuyasha. His friendship, his company, his love. He had a special effect on me like no one else, and I couldn't bear to never hear his laugh again, never feel his hug.

So I thought. And I thought. And I thought. Trying to come up with any way to make things right. I tried to plan out what to say to him, where, when and how. I played various possible scenarios in my head. I could stop him before he went to bed, ambush him early in the morning before Kaede was up. But what if he wouldn't stop for me? What if I said "Inuyasha I want to talk" and he didn't even look at me? What if he just kept on ignoring me like always?

I could just go right into his room, where he couldn't walk away from me, but he could still ignore me there. Or leave. Or worse, scream and kick me out again. I shuddered at the thought of that. Besides, how could I get him to listen to what I had to say?

And even if I could fix all the other problems, what it came down to was that I knew I could never do it. Nerves would always get the best of me. And even if I managed to muster up the courage to talk, I'm sure I'd then bumble over my words and ramble, have a brain freeze and not know what to say.

It seemed hopeless, there was no way I could say this to him. No matter how much I wanted too, I'd never be able to master my tongue. Then all of a sudden, I had an idea. It was a little farfetched, but it was my best shot. What if I didn't have to say it to him? What if he could find out himself, and hear everything I had to say?

What if I wrote an entry in his journal?

I knew it was dangerous. If I was caught, all hope would be lost. If I didn't act though, I'd never get him back. It was perfect, he'd find the message, and I'm sure he would read the whole thing. I could plan perfectly what to say, so there would be no tripping over my words or leaving anything out. He might be mad that I'd invaded his privacy, but it was the only plan I had.

I decided in the end that I would write a message on a different piece of paper, and then put it in. That way I wouldn't be damaging his stuff, and I wouldn't have to write it in his room, hindered by fear of him coming in, and taking extra time that could mean I would be caught.

So, I sat down at my desk, pen in hand, and began.

_Dear Inuyasha,_

No. that was stupid. I crumbed up the paper and threw it aside.

_To Inuyasha,_

No way, that was far worse. I crumpled up that one, too.

_Dearest Inuyasha,_

I paused. That was okay, I guess.

_Dearest Inuyasha,…_

About three stacks of paper and three hours later, I had finally come up with something I felt was okay to send. There was a mountain of paper balls next to me, and I was a mess, exhausted and frazzled, but I didn't care. I would give him this one.

_Dearest Inuyasha,_

_Please, please, please read this whole thing before you throw it aside. Even if you never want to talk to me again, please just give me this one last chance and hear me out, because even if you never want to look at me again, I will still love you. I am not asking for you to forgive me, at least not now, but that you just consider it. Just read this with an open mind, and don't just immediately dismiss it. _

_First I will explain myself, I am very sorry for butting into your privacy and reading your journal, but let me just tell you why I did it. I love you. And not just as a friend. I have loved you for as long as I can remember, with all my heart. Every time I saw you was like a slap in the face, because I wanted you so badly, but knew I couldn't have you. I loved to be around you, to hear your voice, see your smile, and, oh god, to feel your heavenly touch. It was like I melted when I saw you. But at the same time it was horrible, retching pain. To be so close to you, but so far from having you. And it tore me apart._

_It was kind of an accident when I found your journal. I had gone into your room, I admit it, to feel near you. To entertain my fantasy. Because to smell your shirt was like you were there, and eased my pain. And I know it was wrong, but I couldn't help myself. That's when I stumbled upon your journal. I shouldn't have opened it, I know, but I didn't even realize what it was, and had no idea what would be inside. So, when I found you had the same feelings I had, I was in complete shock. Being so in love, and finally finding it was returned, I had to keep reading. Since I could never give in to the feelings I had, your journal was like the bittersweet substitute, the strongest temptation. My taste of Eve's forbidden apple, my glimpse of the sweetest sin. _

_So, that's why I did it, and I know that's not an excuse, just an explanation. I'm so sorry, and believe me, if I could take it back I would. I'd rather not know how close I was because that makes so much harder that we could never be. _

_I understand you are upset, and I don't ask you to still love me, just to be my friend once more. Cuz I would more than settle for friendship. You were the best friend I ever had, and I'm lost without you. Your friendship means more to me than life itself, and I can't live without you. I miss my friend. I miss your laugh. I miss you holding me close. I miss you making all my problems disappear just by looking at me, and maybe flashing me one of your rare but beautiful smiles. I miss you comforting me when I'm sad. Funny, the only time you're not here for me is when I need you most. More than anything though, I miss you. Inuyasha. _

_Please come back to me, I can't go on without you. _

_Even if you can never love me back, or never be my friend again, know that I will always love you. No matter what. _

_Love,_

_Kagome_

I knew I had to do it as soon as possible, so I watched fiercely. And I waited. I couldn't wait by his room, because he would smell my scent. So I waited in my room, where I could hear the stairs. Eventually, I heard what I was waiting for, the sound of footsteps on the steps. I gave it a couple extra minutes, then peeked out of my door. Seeing no one in my path, I crept to his room and peered beyond the door. Finding the room empty, I tiptoed in and to the bed. I felt around for his journal, and finally found it and pulled it out gingerly. I opened it to the last entry, not daring reading what he might have said since he caught me, and slipped it in. I took a deep breath, placed the book on top of his bed so he'd see it, and practically ran out.

Now all that was left was to wait.


	17. Chapter 17

The Sweetest Sin

Chapter 17

Hey guys happy holidays to all I hope you will have a wonderful new year! Here's my New Years Present for all, enjoy and please review! Thanks again to all my readers and reviewers:

AsHlEy-LoVeS-bEn

Metalcherry

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That evening was pure hell. I was nervous and anxious to the point where I felt sick. I didn't come out of my room, too afraid too. He would come to me if he wanted to. But what if he didn't? Had I made a mistake? Was it too late already? Was this going to just make him madder? Should I have waited longer to give it to him, so he could cool off? Should I have done it sooner? Should I have said this instead of this? Should I have said that at all? A million doubts and questions and second guesses spun though my head and made me feel even more nauseous.

I decided to bathe to try to clear my head, but the hot water did not have its usual calming and soothing effect. Instead I just felt even more worried. I tried to let go and just feel the warmth around me, but all I could think of was him.

He. He who I had known my whole life. He who had always been a major part of my life. He who I wouldn't know how to live without. He who stirred up feelings in me like no one else could.

Inuyasha. Oh, how I love you. Please don't let this ruin everything, Inuyasha. Please forgive me. Please remember your love for me. Please remember all we've been through together. Please come back to me.

I finally dragged myself out and curled up in bed, but it was no better. Sleep just wouldn't come, and even though I got in around eight, somehow now it was midnight and nothing had changed. He must have been to his room by now. Was he reading it now? Was he angrily ripping it up into shreds and throwing it aside? Had he read it all? Or had he just not cared, and thrown it away without a second thought. I couldn't help but cry. Oh, how often I've cried for you Inuyasha? Don't you see what you do to me? How can you not know?

I drifted in and out of fitful sleep for the rest of the night, and when light finally shone through my window around 9, I felt exhausted and unrested. I was groggy like I had a hangover; and all the crying gave me an awful headache. I popped some pills and washed up.

Trembling, I crept down the stairs and peeked into the kitchen. I sighed in relief when I saw Inuyasha was not there, and muttered a rushed greeting to Kaede. I hastily ate my breakfast and scurried out so as not to bump into Inuyasha. I wanted him to come see me, not meet me by accident.

I fidgeted and paced most of the morning in my room. Why hadn't he come yet? He must have seen the letter already, there was no way he could have missed it. It was right on top of his pillow, for crying out loud. So why hadn't he come? Why hadn't he come to give me an answer, any answer? Why hadn't he at least come to tell me not to touch his stuff, and not to bother him or talk to him?

By lunchtime I was feeling uncontrollably restless and went downstairs to eat to try to calm my mind. He still wasn't there, thankfully, but as I sat down to Kaede's soup, I just wasn't hungry. I stirred and poked at it, but couldn't really bring it to my mouth.

"Are you okay, dear?" Kaede asked, worriedly.

"I'm fine." I lied, "just not very hungry."

"Are you sure you're not coming down with anything? Inuyasha's been up in his room all day, saying he felt very sick." What?! My head shot up at that. Why was he faking sick? So he didn't have to come down to see me? Was that why he hadn't come to me yet? Was he avoiding me? I mumbled that I was fine and pushed down as much soup as I could before I could race away to my room.

What did this mean? Inuyasha are you too coward to come talk to me? Why must you torment me so?

Or was he really sick? That sounded like bull to me. Awful convenient. Besides, he never got sick. He was not pathetic and weak like humans were, he had said, and not vulnerable to simple viruses and germs. So what was he doing? It definitely had something to do with the letter, that much I knew. But was he happy? Was he angry? Was he unsure? Maybe he was using this time to sort out his thoughts and didn't know how he felt. But he had always been such a decisive person…

Was he trying to decide what to say to me? But he was always so good with words. Inuyasha, I never could understand how you thought or what you were thinking. I could never begin to fathom your mind. Don't leave me hanging like this, I can't take it!

Inuyasha didn't come out all day, and I was getting really worried. When it came time to have Christmas Eve dinner and he still wouldn't show, I was in agony. After trying not to seem so obviously a wreck and making it through dinner, I hurried up to my room.

I let the tears fall in the shower, where no one would know. Clearly this meant he was mad and never wanted to talk to me again. Merry Christmas…

I crawled into bed, and though I did not want to sleep, I was exhausted from deprivation from last night. I could feel my eyelids getting heavy, along with the rest of my body. I could feel my mind loosening and drifting away.

_Please come back to me, Inuyasha..._


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Hey guys! Here's another chapter for you. The last chapter!!! Omg!!! Hope you guys enjoyed the story as much as I enjoyed writing it! I just want to say real quickly, though, that yes, in this chapter I do mention God and religion, but I am in no way saying that these are my beliefs, or that they should be yours. They are simply the beliefs of these two of my characters. (* I do not own Inuyasha. These are not necessarily the beliefs of Inuyasha and Kagome in the manga, just in my story.*) Thanks to all my readers and reviewers!

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I woke in the middle of the night in my dark room. When I opened my eyes they were met with the sight of someone hovering over me, on the bed. I screamed instinctively, and he covered my mouth. That was when I realized who it was, and saw the mistletoe. He uncovered my mouth, but before I could open it again to say anything, he had replaced his hand with his lips. My eyes grew wide in shock. This couldn't be happening! This was a dream!

But then he pulled back and grinned.

"I couldn't stay mad at you." He smirked, and kissed me again, though this time more gently.

"What, you, I, but then" I blabbered, but he silenced me with another kiss before explaining.

"Of course I forgive you, Kagome, I love you."

"I love you too." I whispered softly as he kissed me. "But…what will people think?" I asked uncertainly.

"Who cares?" Inuyasha said shrugging and grinning, kissing me again tenderly.

"What if our family and friends don't accept us?" I asked, looking up at him worriedly.

"Fuck 'em." He brushed it off before leaning down to place his lips on mine again. "I've waited too damn long for this to let them get in our way now."

"But…it's just so wrong!" I half-heartedly protested. Inuyasha stopped kissing me and looked me dead in the eyes.

"Does this feel wrong to you, Kagome?" He said before leaning down again to give me another ktiss, this one longer and sweeter, and filled with love.

"No" I said, smiling softly up at him. Then I looked away again. "But…it's sinful." I frowned and looked back up into his eyes, searching them for an answer, not able to let go of what I was taught so easily.

"Kagome." Inuyasha stared deeply into my eyes, but smiled gently. "If God truly loves all people, do you really think he would condemn them for who they are or who they are born destined to love?"

I paused and considered his words. Somehow when he said it, it just seemed so simple and perfect.

"I love it when you're right." I smiled broadly, and this time I brought his chin down to me, leading with my finger. I leaned up and tried to communicate all my love and pent up feelings in one kiss, to make up for all the times I had wanted to. I wrapped my arms around his neck and ran my fingers through his hair, enjoying the feeling completely and savoring the sensation. The sensation of his lips against mine. Of his arms holding me tight. Of his warmth spreading from his body to mine. The sensation of him. With me.

"Wow." He grinned. "Merry Christmas, Kagome." With that he threw the mistletoe to the side and kissed me hard and passionately. He climbed under the covers with me, and that night we finally gave into temptation, but it didn't seem so wrong anymore. Love was love, right? Love didn't know class and differences and rules. Love was accepting of all, love was blind. And God was love. So how could this be a sin? And as we lay there together afterward, falling asleep in one another's arms, it didn't seem like we had given in. On the contrary, it felt like we'd finally been made whole and pure.

That night, we broke the spell. We freed our hearts and let our love be known and run wild. No longer did our longing and desires feel like the sweetest sin, but the most beautiful gift.

Merry Christmas, Inuyasha.


End file.
